The Fear of Rejection - Life's Limiting Reagent

To be successful in life, you're going to need to ask for what you want and learn strategies for dealing with the repercussions.

You need to ask for a research position. You need to ask to be an co-author on a publication. You need to ask for mentorship. You need to ask for a letter of recommendation. You'll need to ask for a 1000 different things throughout your life.

When you ask for things, you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. You are setting yourself up for possible rejection.

Rejection is the only emotion where we, as humans, vividly re-experience and relive. The same is not true for other emotions such as happiness or belonging. The only way never to get rejected, however, is not to ask for what you want.

The fear of rejection is deeply rooted in our biology. We are terrified of physical threats and threats to our social standing. When we perceive we are about to be rejected we are flooded with disruptive emotions.

Therefore, to be successful, you must gain the discipline of mastering your emotions when getting past no. Nothing takes a higher degree of emotional control than asking for what you want and handling objections.

When we ask for what we want, we are confronted with:

1. Fear

2. Desperation

3. Insecurity

4. Need for significance

5. Attachment

6. Eagerness

7. Worry

When you sound and look afraid or desperate or eager, you give off an insecure vibe, you transfer that fear or negative emotions to those around you and create resistance where previously none existed.

Learning to ask with confidence is a key life skill that you must master.

Training students to manage their emotions at key junctions allows them to maximize their potential and get the most out of each campaign they are currently working on.